Bite Me
by Dorku No Renkinjutsushi
Summary: Jacob's desperate. Esme's shocked. Jasper's liking it. Carlisle's unflappable. And Alice...Alice is just a perv. JacobJasper slash, written in response to a meme on LJ. Please enjoy.


**Title:** Bite Me  
**Author:** **creepycrawly**  
**Rating:** Um. R.  
**Warnings:** Foul, foul language. Naughty boys. (eyebrow wiggles)  
**Disclaimer:** Do I even begin to sound like a Mormon who's married with three sons? Didn't think so.  
**Summary:** Jacob's desperate. Esme's shocked. Jasper's liking it. Carlisle's unflappable. And Alice...Alice is just a _perv_.

* * *

This was originally written for a meme on the LJ community twilight(underscore)slash. As I am a total slash whore, I could not resist. Also, I basically thumbed my nose at Breaking Dawn with this one. Heh.

* * *

"Oh, no," Jacob breathed, staring across the room. "Ohhhh, _fuck_ NO!"

"I was of the opinion you didn't get much choice in this," Alice returned quickly, cocking her head to the side. She was perched comfortably on his desk, legs crossed, hands behind her. "I mean, it's pretty much instinctual, right?"

"This is _not_ fucking fair," Jacob cursed, still staring at the vampire girl with a look of complete and total horror. "Not at all! I'm not… I mean…"

"You could be bi," Alice suggested helpfully. "I mean, heavens know I am. Besides, life's not fair, kid. Didn't anyone ever tell you?"

"All the time," Jacob shot back, slowly lowering his hands from his face, twisting them nervously in front of him. "I just… it's… Christ. I mean, Quil and Sam and everybody are imprinting on _normal_ people, right, and it's just…Jesus Christ…I've been _wanting_ to imprint, because of the…because…because…Bella…and…hell, this just isn't fair. I just want to be able to love in motherfucking peace!"

He screamed the last part, slamming a hand against the wall so hard that the plaster crumbled beneath his fist. Cursing futilely, he yanked his fist from the wall and crumpled to his knees, trembling violently, tears starting in his eyes. "Jesus _fucking_ Christ…he's a…a fucking _vampire_ and…and…and a man and…"

"Jasper's bi," Alice murmured, fidgeting slightly. "And…um…well…I…uh, well, I am _not_ going to, you know, complain or…or anything."

Startled, Jacob looked up at her, tears starting to slowly trickle down his face. "W-what?"

Alice would have blushed, if she were able to. "I…I'll be honest with you. I'm a total perv, really. Have hot, kinky sex with women, tie my husband up, bite him something _awful_—he actually likes it, surprisingly—do all sorts of thing I shouldn't even _know_ about…I'm the farthest thing from innocent you're ever gonna find, believe you me. And, um, I kind of totally want to, um, well…Ireallywouldn'tmindyouandJasperhavingsex."

Jacob stared up at her, dumbfounded. "You…you _want_ me to have sex with your husband?" he coughed. "Y-your _male_ husband??"

"If he was a woman, he'd be my wife," she snorted. "But, yes. And pretty soon, he's going to be feeling that way. And you will, too."

"I still think you're shitting me. What about that whole, 'can't see werewolves' thing?" Jacob demanded, somehow gathering his thoughts, though he still looked something like a beached salmon.

"I may not be able to see you," Alice said lightly, "but I _can_ see him jacking off to a _tape_ of the two of you. Apparently, I _can_ see you in secondhand images." She smirked. "And I totally figure the only way _that's_ gonna happen is if you two are, well…boinking like bunnies, so, I figure you're gonna imprint."

"And this…this sextape is your only proof? A possible future?"

Alice had the grace to look a little flustered. "Welllllllll…you see…Edward can kinda tell when one of you guys is gonna imprint…like, a week before or something, your brains start going weird…well, weirder than normal, anyway—"

Jacob snarled.

Alice's eyes twinkled. "Anyway. Um. Your brain…Edward said it kind of went a little crazy yesterday, and…at the same time…Jasper's just went…nutso."

Jacob stared at her.

--

"I'm so glad you came," Bella breathed, squeezing Jacob tightly. "Thank you so much."

Jacob held her, careful not to hurt her or her dress. She looked beautiful…she looked like a vampire already. Thank god she didn't smell like one. He didn't think he would be able to hold her, in that case. At least he wasn't ready to rip out his own throat, seeing her wearing _his_ ring and smelling of _his_ lips.

"Anyway, do you think you can behave? I want to introduce you…"

"For you? Anything," Jacob replied, smiling at her.

Bella smiled brightly. Taking his hand, she led him over to where the vampire clan were standing, talking to Renee and Charlie. "You already know Charlie, of course. This is my mother, Renee. Edward's mother and father, Esme and Carlisle. His sister, Alice, and…"

"Jasper," Jacob whispered, feeling his mouth go dry as he met those golden eyes. He could feel his heart start to race in his chest, and knew that all the vampires around him knew what was going on. Bella's chatter disappeared, like the volume on her conversation had been turned down low, and all he could hear was the way his heart thudded in his chest, and all he could see was the soft smile curling those full, dark lips…

Alice had the grace to hide her knowing smirk behind her glass of champagne.

--

"Stop worrying," Jasper whispered, yanking Jacob close. "No one's going to bother us."

"How can you be so sure?" Jacob hissed, still vaguely recalling that there was some reason he should be protesting this, though he couldn't for the life of him think what would be wrong with letting this gorgeous man, this perfect David, this fallen angel do whatever the _hell_ he wanted with him wherever he wanted him and however he wanted him.

"Vampire," Jasper replied calmly, loosening Jacob's tie with strong, sure fingers. "I can hear the heartbeats of the werewolves on the edge of the territory. Oh, and Jacob?"

"Hmmm?" Jacob asked, already working on Jasper's buttons.

"Edward says that Leah says it's about damn time."

--

"What on earth was going on, Alice? I mean, with Jasper and Jacob… and what was Bella doing, showing us off to that poor boy like that?"

"I, uh, really doubt he minds anymore, Es."

"What?"

"Remember what Edward said about knowing when the dogs were gonna imprint? And, ah, about how Jasper's mind went a little crazy?"

"He didn't."

"They did."

"Im…impossible!"

"Based on what's going on out in the garden, nope, not as impossible as you'd think."

"…you are a terrible woman, Alice Cullen."

"Yeah, but _technically_, he's my husband. _Technically_, it's just being a voyeur."

--

"Jesus _Christ_," Jacob breathed, arching his back. "Oh…oh!"

"Shhh," Jasper chuckled against his throat. "Alice is listening in…"

"A…Alice?"

"Mmmm. She thinks you're cute." Jasper wove a hand through the werewolf's long hair—it had been growing out while he'd been on the run, clearly—and tugged his head to the side, kissing up the side of his neck. He could feel the hunger for blood eating at him, burning in the pit of his stomach, but it was easier to reject Jacob's blood than some human's.

Because Jacob didn't smell like a human. He smelled like a _wolf_, strong and feral and powerful and tough and _holy fuck_ what the _hell_ was _that_ pheromone?

Groaning low in his throat, Jasper buried his face in Jacob's throat, inhaling the tantalizing smell that was rising from his skin, getting stronger with every heavy thump of his heart. He could _feel_ Jacob's pulse, could feel the every slam and shudder of his heartbeat, from where his hands rested on Jacob's smooth, square hips. They didn't feel anything like women's hips, like Alice's hips. They felt…truly and purely Jacob, and…it was…

"Jesus Christ!" Jacob whimpered, his hands tightening on Jasper's arms. "Fucking _bite_ already!"

--

"Did he just say…"

"I think he _asked_ him to…"

"…that's bad."

"Oh yeah. That's bad."

"What's bad?"

"Uh…Carlisle…um, well, you see…"

"Bella's friend Jacob…the werewolf you healed…just imprinted on _Jasper_."

"And asked him to bite him."

"…it's not as bad as you think."

"…"

"…really, now, Carlisle?"

"Really, Alice. Jacob's already been bitten. In the attack. It would seem that our venom has no effect on werewolves, strangely enough."

"…and Stupid out there's probably thinking with the wolf brain."

"Alice, love, I don't think that's quite the brain he's thinking with."

"…E-Esme?"

"…heh."

--

"Fucking _hell_," Jasper panted (out of habit more than need), slowly uncurling from around Jacob's body. "That was…"

"Fucking _amazing_," Jacob agreed, looking a little dazed and a lot pleased. "Think you managed to…melt my…brains…" Groaning at the pleasant burn in his every muscle, he reached up and stroked the mark on his neck, which was rapidly scarring over. "Fuck!" he moaned as his fingers rubbed over it. "Ohhh…yeahhhhh…"

Jasper cocked an eyebrow, pushing his hair out of his face. Well, that was _interesting_…

Seeing the look on Jasper's face, Jacob could only grin wolfishly, knowing he looked thoroughly debauched and not caring. Hey, if it did that sort of thing to Jasper's heartbeat every time he did it, he wasn't going to care, not at all…

And then his back arched, a moan escaping his lips as Jasper's cool hand settled where his had been, rubbing and teasing.


End file.
